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The noises were no stray opossum or raccoon but a man — reportedly naked and, authorities said, living in the crawl space underneath the woman’s home.

Officials said one pair had items that would aid them in carrying out thefts — as well as, strangely, wild opossums.

A beaver’s tail creates a rhythm on the deck and an opossum has a bass fashioned out of a gourd.

Today, there are only three survivors: the nine-banded armadillo, the Virginia opossum and the North American porcupine.

“I would vote for a roadkill opossum if that was a choice over those three,” Mr. Wirebach said of Mr. Biden, Mr. Trump and the independent candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr.