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In fact, this was just the latest in a line of MAGA-inspired criminal defendants who have failed to get off the hook by depicting themselves as credulous idiots who believed the wrong people.

The justice minister said minors’ parents could be made to pay for damages, while the interior minister said that student pranksters won’t get off the hook: their names and phone numbers will be transmitted to the National Education system.

It is also clearly with the memory of 2008 in mind that Biden is declaring that, this time, the executives of these institutions won’t be allowed to get off the hook.

“In no way shape or form will Norfolk Southern get off the hook for the mess they created,” Regan said at the press conference.

Which is not, crucially, the same as Kutcher wanting his friend to get off the hook.