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Click hereto find an event where you live — or host your own.

Please refer to “Terms and Conditions for Performing an Improvised Bobgoblin Sock Puppet Show” attached hereto.

Steaks, water, boardgames, educational confidence schemes: Donald Trump has lent his name and coppery face to all of the above and more in displays of marketing hereto unheard of for an American politician.

The Patent, a copy of which is attached hereto, describes the concept of self-assembly driven by the hydrogen bond in any living organism.

Trump responded by sending over his birth certificate, with the following note: “Attached hereto is a copy of Mr. Trump’s birth certificate, demonstrating that he is the son of Fred Trump, not an orangutan.”