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The company of performers assembled to perform this hoary property consists of has-beens, wannabes, klutzes and martyred veterans.

And while I’ve long lusted over hand-built fountains and elaborate ponds, I’m a klutz when it comes to building things from scratch.

She brought up President Ford, who once tripped and was forever branded a klutz, thanks in part to a “Saturday Night Live” skit.

Haider is a klutz — “by the grace of Allah, you’re really terrible,” a director groans — and the theater’s finances make zero sense.

As for durability, I’ve never broken an Apple Watch before — and I’m a klutz.