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When she refuses, Spears grabs the trimmer and clicks it on: “The extensions are hacked into lifeless scraps … the stray hairs curl on the floor like writhing snakes.”

A beard trimmer leaps into jugulars, a VCR shoots tapes like a cannon, and the carnage of consumer goods is nasty, gory and cruel, with a darkly comic mean streak that recalls Joe Dante’s “Gremlins.”

Men with enormous beards that have never known the touch of a trimmer.

Then use a hand pruner for small jobs or a string trimmer or hedge clipper for larger plantings.

For example, at Share Bristol - A Library of Things, instead of borrowing books you can borrow sanders, hedge trimmers and popcorn makers amongst other items you're unlikely to use everyday.